It's all worth it - Sanah Helwah Ya Bunayyati...Humaira Ardini Hizamel

Nine Years ago, at about this time, Ummi and abah was beaming with the new founded joy of becoming a parents ourselves. Abah was still recovering from the tiredness of being a cheerleader during the birth process. Though, there is no trace of fatigue in him, I guess the joy did outweigh the effect of sleepless night before. As for me, Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.... He pour His mercy and and Bless us with one beautiful and healthy girl any mother could ever ask for. I am thankful. No words could ever describe it.

Let us recall our life today in UK my dear, InsyaAllah you'll find time to scroll down this mumbling of your old ummi one day in the future, and you would want to find a particular writing that mark your 9th birthday. Ummi might forget most of the memories in that day if I never write them, or maybe Allah knows best, ummi and abah might not be among you all that day, to tell stories and recall memories.

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Being raised in this open country, with open-minded people, sometimes too open that children will end up asking you, how a baby is being born. I remember myself never got to ask this kind of question to my parents.

And things become easier to explain, when there is actually a very good documentary here on childbirth. 'One born every minute'. We would sit together and watch this documentary. From normal birth, to epidural and to c-section. It's all explained in one series only.

"Ummi, it must be very difficult and must be very painful? you asked.
"Yes dear, it was." Ummi answered.

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And do you know dear, I cannot even remember one bit of it, when you hug me, because it's all worth it.

I cannot even remember the difficulties, when you kiss me, because it's all worth it.

When I wrap my hand around you, and gather you on my lap, that strong, warm and comfortable feeling erase all the pain and it's all worth it.

Now, when you come home from school and see me at home and hear your voice calling me, "ummiiiiii..." with all the joy seeing me in your voice, make it all worth it.

Now, seeing you secretly, calming your sister and brother at the back of the car, when you know ummi had enough of their fighting with each other.... saying in a low volumed voice as if ummi cannot hear it, " shhhhhh, you guys stop fighting.... see ummi is sad.." make it all worth it, you've turned out to be a responsible sister.

Now, listening to your teacher, saying that you are in the top group of every subjects, you are very sporty, you in fact the only person in class that actually 'googled' everything being tought at school - that make me laugh though. Your work is a head of class. She is really proud of you, and she said we must have been really proud of you... in fact dear we always do, regardless, It's all worth it.

Now, listening to the surahs that you memorized, my heart would want to freeze the moment and tell you, it's all worth it.

Now, watching you being an Imam in a prayer to your sister and brother after you come home from school, it's like having a cold water in a very hot desert for me, it was all worth it dear darling.

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Love,

Humaira Ardini Hizamel,

Ummi prays that Allah will grant ummi and abah with the wisdom to bring you up in this temporary world, to prepare yourselves for the world after. The permanent world that hopefully will gather us all in Jannah InsyaAllah.

Ummi prays that you will become the best muslimah to this ummah, best servant to Allah and the best daughter any parents would ask for. The best daughter that will always remember us in your du'a. The best daughter that will continue our good deeds eventhough we were no longer here in this world. The best daughter that will prolonged our beneficial 'ilm, though we have passed on.

Ummi prays that Allah will bestow His Blessing upon you all the times. Rest assure that as long as I live and with Allah will, you will always be in my du'a.

I love you my sweetie, honey bee. You always be my baby...........:)XOXOXO from ummi